Dear readers:  no, I’m not on probation.  No I haven’t ever been caught up in the justice system.  But I did recently get hired to be a funny motivational speaker for a bunch of fine probation pros based in the Chicago, Illinois area.  (Though oddly we went to Wisconsin to have the event.)

It was a total hoot.

Ethical Bribe:   
Hey you probation peeps!  Leave a comment on my blogbelow and tell me one thing that you did differently based on our time together today.  And tell me what the effect was.  (Did it make your day more fun?  What happened at the meeting when you did it?  What did your kids do?) And then I’ll send you something fun.   (No, not a Ford Explorer or a $500 shopping spree, but it’s fun and cool.  And it’s my treat.)   The first 15 people who reply with how you were spurred into action will get a free gift.

You will type in your email but that remains private and is never published.   It just is for me to send you the gift.

Thanks again.  It was a total pleasure to be your probation speaker.

Are you an organization — probation or otherwise — and need a speaker to motivate in a laugh out loud funny way, I hope you’ll pick me. Contact me here.

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I was just at speaking for the USDA Farm Services group in South Dakota. It was a total hoot. I was totally flattered with this nice letter. Take a look:

To Whomever It May Concern,

This letter is a strong endorsement of speaker Brad Montgomery.

I talked Brad up big to our people; I was looking for a home run. Brad was even better than we hoped.

Our organization is going through many changes, and our people needed a boost to help them through these changes. And if your organization is anything like mine, you know that creating behavior and attitude change is harder than it sounds.

Brad spoke to a large portion of my group responsible for making millions of dollars worth of loans. I’m glad he did; he made a difference. His program was a total success.

In the days following Brad’s appearance, I got surprisingly many positive comments. (They loved him!) But also, I heard anecdotal evidence of Brad’s impact on morale, attitude, and my people’s ability to tackle some of our organizational changes.

In other words, Brad did more than motivate, inspire, and make us laugh. (Though he did all of those things exceptionally well.) He helped get our people back on track, ready to work, and ready to move where we need to go.

If you are looking for a speaker who will be the highlight of the conference AND help your organization with specific ways to improve morale and attitude and increase organizational productivity, Brad Montgomery is a perfect choice.

I recommend him without reservation. Hire him; you’ll be glad you did.

Call me if I can answer specific questions about Brad. (Or if you need a farm loan.)

A. Claeys
Farm Loan Chief – South Dakota

Thanks So Much USDA!  I had a blast in South Dakota!

Are you looking for a speaker for your meeting or convention. Go Here To Contact Me.

Brad Montgomery
South Dakota Speaker, Farm Speaker, Fan of the USDA

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Ok, not totally.  But wait until you read this true story:

I was recently at a huge event in Florida — 450 professionals brought in from around the country – to be their closing motivational keynote speaker.  Nice.  They asked me to include all expenses in my contract to make it easier for them.  Fine.  No sweat.    (Can you tell that I’m leaving even the industry off to make sure I don’t step on any client toes?

My spot as the closing speaker was immediately following a boxed lunch.  After the morning session, the attendees grabbed a box lunch, went to their seats, ate… and waited for – well – me.

I got my gear set, was all-systems-go with the audio visual team, and had chatted with the big boss (who by the way had hired me two times in the past.)  So far, everything is easy and fun.

But here is where it gets hinky.  I was about to grab a box lunch… I was starving and was needed calories before I spoke for an hour and a half  … when I casually asked  the meeting planner if I could have a sandwich.  I asked her knowing it was a formality.  Of course she would feed her speaker.   I nearly didn’t ask.   

I was wrong.  She said, “Oh no, those are for the participants.”  I thought she was joking.  “You’re kidding, right?”    I honestly thought she was joking about not feeding me.

“No, we have accounted for all of the lunches, and they are for the registered attendees only.”  I was dumbfounded.  I wanted to say, “Well then I’d like to register.”  But all I could come up with was a clumsy, “But I’m your closing speaker.”  

“Sorry,” she said.  I was amazed.  With 450 people there, there just HAD to be ONE extra turkey sandwich.  And did she realize what it meant to me and her meeting to turn me down?

So I just said, “Ok, I’ll need to go get some food.” I left her and 4 tables piled high with ready-made lunches and left in search of a quick sandwich.  There were two restarurants in the hotel, but after talking to their hostesses it was clear that I wouldn’t have time to order there.  I eventually ended up at sandwich place next to the hotel and bought myself a — you guessed it —  turkey sandwich.  (Ironic, no?)

By the time I found this place, ordered, waited, wolfed down the sandwich, and made my way back to the convention area the meeting planner was in a panic. “Where were you?”  Again, I was dumbstruck.  I didn’t have anything graceful to say, so I just came out with a, “I had to go find some food.”

She looked surprised.  Apparently her other speakers never need fuel before they speak.  We walked back towards the meeting room and passed what was now a single table piled high with turkey sandwich box lunches.  She saw me look at them:  “I guess there were some left after all.”

I was silent.   But inside I was somewhere between laughing and crying. 

What’s the point?  I can tell you it isn’t the $8.67 I spent on my sandwich.  My point is that this woman was responsible for an event that cost a gazillion dollars and she threw her keynote speaker off-balance because of a turkey sandwich.  I didn’t care about the money, I cared that because she was counting her pennies I was inconvenienced, and because of that I wasn’t fully in the game.  Instead of eating with the attendees, getting the latest scoop on the convention, and having a chance to go over my program notes I was rushing around trying to find calories that were within reach the whole time.  Maddening. 

Normally I eat with my audience because that’s where I get the last-minute scuttlebutt.  That’s where I hear about the most recent stresses, the talk of the meeting or convention, and that’s where I often write some of my best jokes.  Not this time. 

Instead of getting myself psyched up for doing a good job for her, I was trying to make it back to the hotel on time.

More irony:  The meeting planner was off balance, nervous and upset because her speaker had vanished.   Both of us — and the entire audience — would have been better served if I was given a sandwich.

[Hey, don't worry.  The keynote was fun and well-received — if I do say so myself.  It was a great audience and I've done this keynote thing a bunch.  It went great.  But why in the world did this planner make it so hard?]

Message to meeting planners:  if you are hiring a speaker, do your best to set them at ease.  You don’t have to pamper us, (though we love that more than you’ll guess) but it is a good investment to remove as many headaches for us as you can.  You want us to be 100% when we hit your platform.  So make it easy for us to rock.  Oh, and by the way, buy us that sandwich.

Are you looking to HIRE  a keynote speaker?  Contact me here. (I’ll even bring my own sandwich…just give me warning.

Brad Montgomery
Motivational Keynote Speaker, Lover of Meeting Planners, Fan of Turkey Sandwiches

PS.  I asked my client  — not the meeting planner but the client — if I could tell this story from the stage.  I gave him a brief summary, told him why I thought it was funny and how I thought that there was a lesson in this story for his specific group.  He declined and admitted that it made sense but the meeting planner was “highly strung” and he didn’t think she could take it.  Oh… telling that story from the stage would have been funny!

PPS.  Ever had a similar experience?   Would you be so kind as to leave it in a comment?

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This cartoon cracked me up — and makes a legitimate point about comedians.

Sure, to be a great comedian or comedian speaker you have to have:

• Great Material
• Great Timing
• Appropriate Topis for Any Given Audience.

But most of all, you have to have confidence.  Audiences know right away when we are psyched-out and insecure.   It makes them feel uncomfortable, and really brings down our performance and ratings.

The hard part is that this confidence is nearly impossible to teach.  In my opinion, it just comes after years of experience and thousands — yes, thousands — of performances.

New to comedy? Just keep it up!   

Looking for a comedian speaker for your meeting or convention?  Consider me.*

Brad Montgomery
Comedian, Business Speaker, and Hyena-fobe  (“Hey mom, I made up a word again!”) 

* Unless your audience is comprised of hyenas.  In which case I’ll pass.

I’m part of the National Speakers Association, and some of the Certified Speaking Professionals recently had a e-conversation that started with this great question:

Who do you THINK (you do not have to be right!) is the most expensive keynoter on the market today?
Here are some of the best responses:

• I’d go with Bill Clinton. I understand he’s a million dollars.When he isn’t speaking for free.   — Janelle Barlow  
   
• One speaker guessed Donald Trump at $1 Million an hour – 3 hour contract.

• Paris Hilton was guessed by another speaker pal, also at $1 million for an hour.

• Motivational speaker Warren Evans CSP from Toronto, Canada wrote   ”Just recently talking with a planner overseas for whom I am doing a gig  this spring. She tells me thought of bringing Lance Armstrong in, but he wants $750,000 for an hour.   If she can find a sponsor, however, to do a tour . . . he’ll do 4 days, or was it 5?, for a flat million.  Richard Branson is $150,000: same event. Course, these are US dollars, so it’s not as expensive as it sounds . . .
   
• Motivational Speaker Scott Mckain added this:  This isn’t a current speaker, but legend has it that the most money ever paid for a keynote went to Art Linkletter.  Walt Disney asked Linkletter to be the speaker and emcee of the opening of Disneyland in July 1955. However, Disney had spent every nickel on the attraction, and didn’t have the money to pay Linkletter to speak. So, Linkletter said he’d give the opening address for the park — if Disney would give him all of the sales of film and camera accessories for twenty-five years. Disney agreed.  I’ve never seen a precise dollar amount — but, can you even begin to fathom how many rolls of film, flash bulbs, and other pre-digital items were sold at DISNEYLAND over a quarter of a century? Has to be the highest paid presentation of all time…   And, by the way…Linkletter is still speaking! 

But my favorite answer came from keynote speaker Jeffrey Hansler 

Well, the most expensive keynoter was the guy that charged $2000 and then destroyed the entire purpose of the meeting – now that was expensive….

So what do YOU think? What is the most expensive keynote speaker?

If you want a keynote speaker who can make a difference for your organization and don’t have the $1 million for Paris Hilton, perhaps you’ll consider me? Contact me directly here.

Technorati Tags: keynote speakers, speakers fees, motivational speakers

My pal Tim Gard just submitted this to a newsletter! Great job Tim.

(The following is an excerpt from an aricle in the NSA Humor Peg newsletter.

So how do you sell the value of humor to a client? Why would someone pay for a humorist vs. a content speaker?

“I (Tim Gard) wrote an article a couple of years ago about the difference between an entertainer and a speaker. The first thing you have to have in mind is which of those you are going to be. Either one is okay, you just need to pick one and go with it. When people contact me, it is not necessarily to have me be a humorist. I’m contacted when they need someone to kill at 7am, or close out a conference on a high note. Most businesses that hire me want take-home value, very clean humor, and they want their folks to be energized. The bottom line is you have to find what the audience’s pain is and how to solve it with humor. ”

Nicely said Tim!

Do YOU think humor has a place in business? I sure do. Check out this excerpt form a humor newsletter from Humorist Roz Trieber.

“Research demonstrates there is a significant correlation between humor and leadership effectiveness (Priest and Swain, 2002). Organizational culture, in the military and elsewhere, supports the use of humor by leaders in appropriate ways. The United States Army leadership manual describes, “Having a good sense of humor” as a valuable character trait for leaders (Department of Army, 1983). It was found that cadets at the United States Military Academy who use humor as a coping strategy were less likely to quit or make mistakes. In addition, humor employed by managers and leaders achieve three specific ends: 1) stress reduction in the workplace, 2) helping employees understand management concerns by enhancing communication patterns, and 3) motivating followers (Davis and Kleiner, 1989). Good leaders who use good-natured jest put others at ease. Those who cannot laugh or joke about their imperfections or personal failings are correlated with other characteristics of “bad leaders,” A majority of good leaders are shown to have quick wit, see the point of jokes, maintain group morale through extraverted humor vs. mean spirited humor, have infectious laughs, and tell humorous satires in dialect (Priest and Swain, 2002).

What this really means is that there is improved communication with less misunderstanding, and increased desire to come to work, and an increase in creativity and productivity (Decker and Rotondo, 2001). In summary, humor in the workplace promotes physical and mental health, fosters mental flexibility, and acts as a social lubricant (Morreall, 1983). ”

Thanks Roz. Awesome Work.